Only You
by ayameru
Summary: "Kiku."Kiku cringed. Ivan slowly brought the hitting hand down to take hold of Kiku's chin. He pulled it up to face him, ignoring Kiku's wincing. "Who do you love?"What Ivan would do in jealousy, threatened by England's simple words. Rus/Jap/UK DV Warn
1. Chapter 1

"Alright, Japan," the blond man offered his hand cheerfully. "This was a good meeting. Thanks for staying after."

"It was my pleasure, England san," the Asian nation replied, taking the hand and smiling. "This was very productive. I wish the whole meeting went this way…"

"Oh…well… There are a few people…" England grumbled. "Anyways, thanks for the time."

Arthur stood up and made his way to the doors. He pushed one open, holding it open for the other nation.

"Oh, " Japan called, noticing Arthur holding the door for him. "Please go ahead. I have to reorder these papers."

"Ah- If you say so," replied Arthur as he walked out of the room. "Have a nice weekend, Kiku," he called.

"You, too," Kiku replied, blushing slightly at being called by his name.

Arthur checked his watch and began to walk briskly down the hall. He did not notice a rather large figure slip into the conference room as he rushed to attend to his next meeting.

Russia stood at the doorway, letting the door close quietly behind him as he watched Kiku, fretting around, collecting the papers into one pile.

"Here we go," he heard him mutter as he picked it up. Kiku was going through the papers as he approached the doors, not realizing Russia until he almost walked into the tall man who stood in his way, smiling.

"Russia san!" Kiku exclaimed, startled. "I thought you went home already…"

"I was waiting for you," Ivan replied, smiling amicably.

"Oh…if you had told me, I would have made the meeting shorter…"

"The personal get-together, you mean?" corrected Russia, still smiling.

"Please," Kiku grimaced slightly. "That kind of phrasing makes it sound…awkward…"

"Oh, but it sure seemed like a personal get-together."

Russia suddenly moved around Kiku and pulled him around by his shoulder to switch their positions. Kiku winced slightly as he landed not so lightly on shoulder and back into the door.

"You seemed to enjoy his company quite a lot," Russia said, smiling as he pushed Kiku's shoulder roughly. Kiku tightened his grip on the documents.

"It was nothing like that, I assure you."

"Oh, really now…" Russia's smile suddenly turned dark. "He seemed to feel himself to be very close to you…"

"Russia san…" Kiku pleaded, cringing at the sudden change in expression. "You are mistaken- he never meant anything."

"Oh, really now," Russia laughed, raising his large hand to trace the outline of Kiku's cheek. "He meant nothing when he called you by your first name?"

Kiku suddenly understood what Ivan was getting at. Nations only called each other by their names with those they were intimate with, or family. He would call Korea Yong Soon, but not France, Francis. Russia had caught on to Arthur calling him Kiku. Thank god, Kiku thought to himself, Russia did not see him blush at it.

"Russia… Ivan," Kiku stared up at Russia's face that towered over him, willing himself to not tremble at his caressing. "He didn't mean anything."

Kiku realized too late that he was blushing slightly at the memory. It was always awkward for him to be called by his name. Having someone like England call him by his first name was flattering. And yet… He saw Ivan's facial muscles twitched, and before he could react, he felt a strong blow to the side of his face, making him lose balance and let go of his papers. They fell, disoriented, on the floor, shuffling themselves, much to Kiku's dismay. Kiku looked up nervously at the Russian, trying to ignore the burning sensation on his cheek.

Russia was no longer smiling.

"You like him, don't you," he accused, eyes glinting in anger. "You let him make moves on you because you like him…"

"That is not true," Kiku retorted, trying to figure out a way to calm the man who easily weighed twice as much as he. "You are over reacting…"

He flinched as Ivan slowly realized his right hand and raised his arms in reflex defense to cover his face. He saw from the corner of his eyes, Ivan smile as he grabbed Kiku's right wrist with his left, and pushed him back onto the closed doors again.

"Don't tell me what I am or am not doing," he whispered, bending over to Kiku's ear. Kiku shuddered, lowering his other arm. "Now," Russia muttered. "Admit it."

Kiku shook his head. The shaking did not last long as he felt another sharp slap to the same side of the face. He saw his vision blur for a moment and tasted blood in his mouth from where his teeth had cut his cheek. He closed his eyes momentarily in pain, but opened them again as he felt another blow, disorienting him, pushing him off the solidity of his feet. He staggered in place, knees buckling, almost hitting the ground. He did not fall completely, his wrist being held up by Russia. Smiling, Ivan pulled Kiku back onto his feet.

"Don't be so disobedient, Kiku," he said as he watched the smaller man trying to regain his foothold, grimacing in pain. "Stop being so difficult."

"I do not… love him…" Kiku muttered, trying to keep himself from slurring, the blood in his mouth bothering him. "He was just… just being friendly… in a business partner way…"

"Kiku," Russia cooed, suddenly. "I love you, you know."

Kiku looked away, averting his gaze.

"…I do…," he whispered, staring at the pieces of paper by his feet.

"Look at me," Russia ordered. Kiku slowly moved his head back up timidly, looking back up into the now smiling face. "Good boy. Now, stop lying."

"I am not ly—" Kiku could not finish his sentence before he was toppled off balance again. He staggered, feeling faint, tasting more blood. He knew his face will be donned in multitudes of shades going from red to purple tomorrow. He could not bring himself to touch it, knowing it would hurt immensely.

"Not a sound, as always…" he heard Russia mutter.

"Kiku." Kiku cringed. Ivan slowly brought the hitting hand down to take hold of Kiku's chin. He pulled it up to face him, ignoring Kiku's wincing. "Who do you love?"

"…" Kiku looked up into Ivan's violet eyes. Those beautiful eyes that turned so dark… "You…"

"Really?" Ivan asked, smiling.

"Yes. I love you."

"Not that English bastard?"

"No. Only you."

"Good boy," Ivan whispered as he laid a gentle kiss on Kiku's lips. He let go of Kiku's chin and placed his hand on the smaller man's shoulder, bending over further to kiss his neck. "I love you, too," he said, smiling into the kisses.

"…I know," Kiku answered, closing his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Kiku listened to his own steady heart beats. Russia was playing with his soft hair with one hand, and the other, was gently pulling on Kiku's dress shirt, tucked neatly in his pants, held there by his belt. With his eyes still closed, he shivered slightly as Russia's large, cold hand slipped inside the shirt, feeling up his smooth skin. His breathing hitched slightly as he felt Russia caress a nipple and leave a sharp mark on his neck at the same time. He leaned back, pressing his back against the hard, wooden door.

Russia felt the tensing of the body and smiled again. He bit the nape of Japan's neck, eliciting another shudder, as he allowed his hand to roam around underneath the shirt. He felt Japan try to move away against the door, and took the opportunity to shift his body up closer to him.

"How long will it take this time, hmm?" he whispered into Kiku's ear as he traced a circle on his skin underneath his dress shirt. "How long will it take before you cannot hold your voice in anymore…?"

Russia enjoyed watching people hurt, confused, suffering.

He enjoyed it most on people he cared about. And how beautiful Japan looked when he painfully tried to suppress himself.

He smiled to himself as he saw his lover grimace slightly.

"Someone will come," Japan mumbled. "We shouldn't be doing something like this here…"

"No one is going to come, Kiku," Russia replied. "Don't break the mood."

"We should move…"

"… Kiku…" Russia muttered. "I said we are staying here. So we are going to stay here…da?"

"…" Kiku sighed quietly. Someone was bound to come if they made any excessive noise. Some people couldn't have gone far, and maybe there was going to be another meeting in this room later.

But he decided all that maybe that did not matter too much when he felt his skin under his shirt being pinched harshly. He gritted his teeth to keep down any sound lest anyone hear him, but the amount of skin Russia could get a hold of to pinch at one time was much greater than would have been for any other person.

And it hurt.

He could practically feel the bruise forming under Russia's fingers. Russia knew that his skin was sensitive.

Kiku sometimes went out of his way to avoid looking into the mirror when changing, not wanting to see the discolored patches on his upper body.

He often wondered why he did this to himself. Maybe he was just this desperate for attention.

"Did you have something to say?" Russia asked, squeezing the area of skin slightly harder.

Kiku shook his head. He hoped that no one was going to come in. He pressed his head back onto the closed door, waiting for Russia to let go. Ivan did, stroking the spot softly, and Kiku shivered in pain and sensitivity.

Russia rose up slightly to bring Japan's face forward slightly to kiss him.

Kiku remembered why he did this to himself. Sometimes, he felt that he was loved.

At times like these, he felt like nothing else mattered in the world; when he was being touched gently, kissed passionately.

He let himself be kissed, eyes still closed, savoring the moment.

"He is jealous," Kiku realized. "He is jealous of England."

He opened his mouth slightly as he felt a push on his lips and teeth. He felt like smiling a little- if only smiling didn't hurt so much. Every movement on his face was painful, and he had to exercise a lot of self control to keep himself from wincing or cringing.

"He is jealous for me…"

Usually, Russia kept the bruises and cuts to places not easily visible. The fact that he lacked even that much control showed how upset he was.

Kiku moaned quietly as Russia ran his cold hand gently down his bare side, while the other firmly grasped his chin, forcing it up to kiss him. He let Ivan intertwine his tongue with his, his head beginning to spin from lack of oxygen.

Finally, Ivan broke off the kiss, smiling in triumph as Kiku gasped for breath. He playfully teased Kiku's nipple with slight force, watching his body tense and shudder.

"Your body is so responsive today," he whispered as he began unbuttoning the front of Kiku's dress shirt skillfully with one hand. "I like it."

"Th-that's not true," Kiku retorted, blushing.

"Oh really?" Russia smirked as Kiku's eyes widened as he pinched and twisted his other nipple. "You don't call this sensitive? Then I wonder how much I can do to you before you DO feel it~."

Kiku wanted to click his tongue for his own stupidity. He should have realized what his statements would bring about before he said them.

Russia finished taking off the last button and pushed open the shirt folds. He looked at the smooth yet blotched skin of Japan's chest and stomach. He traced one of the purple bruises near Kiku's shoulder lightly with his fingers, smiling almost sadly. Kiku shuddered against it in pain, and closed his eyes tightly as Ivan pressed on it.

"I have to be nicer, don't I," he muttered, hand still on his chest. "They look so painful."

Kiku did not reply, unsure what kind of response will set him off.

"But I wouldn't have had to do this," Russia whispered again, leaning in to Kiku's ear. "If you were being obedient and a good boy. You know that, right?"

Kiku felt his heart skip a beat, and his hand curl into a fist.

"…" Ivan eyed the fist. "Kiku, dear… what did I. JUST. SAY?!" Kiku's body jerked as Ivan's open hand slapped across its bruised chest. He almost cried out as numerous tender bruises were hit almost simultaneously.

"It was your fault for being disobedient, was it not?" Russia asked, smiling. He raised his hand again, poised to give another hit, the other already leaving a large, red print.

"Y…yes…," Kiku whispered meekly. "They were all my fault…"

"I am glad you understand," Russia chuckled. "However, bad boys need to be punished, do they not?"

Kiku grimaced, turning away.

"…Suck," Russia demanded firmly. Kiku whipped his head around, cringing in pain at even that.

"Please, no…," he begged. "My face… it will hurt too much…"

He was silenced by a stern stare. "Suck."

Kiku closed his eyes, dejected.

I probably deserve this anyways, he thought, trying to convince himself. I shouldn't have irritated him.

Maybe he WAS being too friendly with England.

But he did not know Russia was watching.

He bent down on his knees, and lifted his hand to touch the mound that had formed in Ivan's pants.

…But… Had he known… then what?

He felt a pang of guilt.

Would he have done anything differently?

Wouldn't that mean he was guilty of something…?

He slowly reached up to unbuckle Ivan's belt and pull down his zippers, taking a slow breath.


	3. Chapter 3

"England san," Kiku spoke into the phone quietly. "I don't think we can meet for lunch today."

"Kiku? What do you mean?" Arthur asked, his voice clearly disappointed. "Is something wrong?"

Kiku closed his eyes yet again at being called his name by Arthur. He lightly touched his face and winced.

"I-I am not feeling well," he replied monotonously.

"Are you sick? I'll come visit you! I'll bring my herbal teas!"

"No…I…uh… don't want you to catch it!" Kiku retorted frantically. "Please, do not bother!"

"But…"

"Have a nice day, England san. I apologize for missing our appointment."

Kiku dropped the phone onto its carrier slowly and sighed. He did not like lying, but the whole purpose of canceling the meeting would be defeated if Arthur came.

He did not know why, but he felt like crying. He could not possibly eat lunch with England.

He had stared at his face in the mirror horrified this morning.

"Russia must have seen this," he thought. "That's why he brought me straight home instead of taking me to his house as he usually does." No one would want to see someone in this state- especially if you were the one who did it.

Kiku lightly touched the left side of his face and winced into the mirror. He tended to heal quickly, but he would not be able to see anyone for at least a week. He remembered that he had a meeting with England only this morning, and had kicked himself mentally.

He was in a relationship. Of course Ivan would be upset if he knew they were going to have a "private meeting." What had he been thinking when he accepted?

He jumped as he heard the ring of his doorbell. He stood rooted to the spot in his hallway where his phone was kept. Not until he heard the shuffling of feet walking into his property and the call, "Kiku? I'm coming in," did he begin to panic. He cursed himself for always leaving is door unlocked. He jumped into his bedroom, silently closing the door. He pulled himself under his futon cover, hoping that the fact that he is ill with a contagious disease will keep Arthur away.

But of course, it wouldn't. He heard the door open, and sounds of the Englishman taking off his shoes. Simple things like that made Kiku want to smile. But he regretted even trying to as excruciating pain shot through his cheek. His buried himself deeper into the sheets, trying to figure out a way to get England out of the house.

"Kiku?" Arthur squinted into the dark hallway and the adjacent rooms. He peered into the open rooms as he walked down the halls and stopped in front of the closed one.

"Kiku? Are you alright? May I come in?"

Kiku did not reply and held his breath.

Apparently, Europeans see silence as compliance, Kiku found today.

Arthur slowly opened the sliding door, looking into the darkness. He slipped into the room leaving the door slightly open to let the light in. His eyes finally focused enough to see the mound that was Kiku, in his futon.

"Japan!" he exclaimed. "Thank god, you are actually here! I was afraid you were gone!" he laughed good naturedly, not finding this action of breaking-and-entering strange at all.

"I guess the door was open… ," Kiku thought to himself grimly.

"I brought wine," Arthur said cheerfully. "Nothing gets rid of a cold like good wine (unless you are Alfred- then it's a hamburger). Oh, and flowers."

"Th…thank you…," Kiku murmured from under the covers. "But you really shouldn't have come all this way for me…"

"Oh, it was no problem," Arthur laughed. "Your house isn't that far away, anyways."

"But still…" Kiku was still under covers, not daring to come out.

"Kiku, is something wrong?" Arthur asked, concern in his voice. "You are acting strange…"

Kiku poked his head out of the covers, hoping the darkness will cast a good shadow on the left side of his face.

"Nothing is wrong, England san," Kiku replied, a little flushed from being under covers for so long. "I am just tired."

"Alright," Arthur smiled, relieved. "If you say so."

A pang of guilt shot through Kiku for lying to this man who was genially concerned for him. But what could he do? He could not jeopardize his lover. He loved him, and could not bear to see him in trouble. Because somehow, Kiku suspected, deep inside, that something was not right between them.

"You shouldn't stay in such a dark room, Kiku," Arthur said as he walked into the middle of the room where the light switch was hanging from the light fixture above.

He went to pull on the string to turn it on, but froze when Kiku practically screamed, "No! Please! No!"

"Kiku…? What's wrong…?" Arthur approached him in the darkness, finding his black eyes. He bent down onto his knees and stared into Kiku's eyes as he tried to move his face away so the bruised half would be hidden. But Arthur was too close to be fooled.

"Kiku…What is this?" he demanded, gently, yet firmly grabbing Kiku's chin so he could not move away. He narrowed his eyes to see better in the dark as Kiku tried to pull himself away, whimpering.

"Please… Let go… There's nothing wrong… Please… Stop…"

"Kiku… These… Who did this to you?" he reached out with his other hand to touch Kiku's cheek, but before he got there, he felt a blunt blow to the back of his head. The last thing he saw before he blanked out was Kiku's horrified face staring at something behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Kiku clutched the front of Ivan's coat with both hands, trembling. Ivan had pushed the unconscious Arthur over to the side and kneeled down next to Kiku's futon. Kiku smelled the familiar scent of snow; felt the familiar broadness of Ivan's body and the coarse and thick fabric of his coat.

"Please," Kiku whispered, still shaking, voice almost muffled into Ivan's chest. "I was just startled… Just scared…"

Ivan gently embraced him with both arms, almost completely enveloping him.

"It's okay Kiku," he said, pulling him closer. "I'm here."

"Please don't hurt him," Kiku begged earnestly, pulling his face out of Ivan's chest and looking up. "He was only concerned for my health."

"But he touched you."

"I know… he shouldn't have… but he was just worried."

"I don't like anyone else touching you, Kiku," Ivan said, frowning.

"I know you don't. But he didn't know that."

"Why are you protecting him? I thought you said there was nothing between you two. I want to beat him unconscious."

"He already IS unconscious…"

"But I KNOCKED him unconscious. I want to BEAT him unconscious."

"Please …"

"He needs to know who you belong to."

"He will. I will make sure."

Kiku leaned into the strong, territorial embrace he was in. He felt safe. Nothing- he knew- no danger could permeate through to him. He needed only to stay here. He needed only to brave some of Ivan's fickle moments. Once done, there was not a safer place anywhere else. He knew this.

"Do you love me, Kiku?" Ivan asked softly into his ear.

"Yes," Kiku whispered back, burying his head deeper into the security.

"I don't want to see him near you ever again," Ivan said, looking at Arthur who was still on the floor, out cold.

"I understand," Kiku replied solemnly. Ivan pulled away from the embrace, smiling. He patted Kiku's head softly before standing up, saying, "Good boy."

When Arthur came to, he opened his eyes to see Kiku standing by the window, cutting the stem of a sunflower he had found by the head of his futon after Ivan had left. He placed it in a vase and looked over for his periodic Arthur check.

"Oh, England san! Are you awake?" he placed the vase on the window sill and came back to him to take off the wet towel that was on his forehead. "I hope you are feeling alright."

"I'm okay…just… a headache…" Arthur groaned, trying to remember why he was in this state. "Oh… Kiku… your face. How is it?" he asked, conveniently putting the injury before trying to figure out what happened, exactly, to make him faint in the first place.

"Oh," Kiku touched his face lightly. "He told me all I could do is to put cold towel on it, so that's what I'll just do."

"Who is 'he'?" Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Ivan," Kiku replied, tilting his head. "Is something the matter?"

"Was he the one that did this to you?" Arthur asked, lightly touching Kiku's face with his fingertips. "Did Russia do this to you?"

Kiku froze, unsure of how to respond.

"He did, didn't he…" Arthur groaned. "Why do you stay with this bastard?"

"H-how did you know-"

"I know you two are in a relationship. It's obvious from the way he's always hovering over you- look- leave him. This isn't right."

"I-I can't do that!" Kiku protested.

"And why not?!" Arthur demanded back, eyes still on the grotesque bruises on Kiku's face.

"B-because I love him!" Kiku cried, realizing how ridiculous that must have sounded to Arthur, who was completely antagonizing Ivan.

"….," Arthur remained silent for a few moments, staring into Kiku's face. Kiku looked away, unable to keep eye contact. He never was good at it.

"Kiku, please," Arthur begged, trying to get his eye contact back. "You know he's not sane. You need to get away from him- he's the bane of your existence!"

"I-I like you, England san," Kiku began.

"Then-"

"But I love Russia."


End file.
